...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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