And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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