i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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