party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
