I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I smell stomach acid.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize