I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
