the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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