i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
