we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
