it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Randomize