Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
