he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
you didnt know i had herpes?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
