My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
