He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
