you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I'm sobbing to NWA
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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