READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
