I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
