Yo dont text me then not text me
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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