Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
