I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Randomize
