Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
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