Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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