some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize