True but thats because hes a fetus.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
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