My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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