how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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