Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
