dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
