I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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