meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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