Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
