You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Randomize
