so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
