ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
