Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Randomize
