Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
