if only i could text you this smell
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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