I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
