Just mADE A PArabola og urine
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
