Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize