Non-Jews are for practice
You can't special order awesome
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
