I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
