His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
