the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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