hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
