i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
