the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
