i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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