So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
