i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
My dad just said "fuck circus"
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
