i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize