Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
