in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Holy sore nipples Batman
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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