oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
