If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
