im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
