Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize