She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
