you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
