Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize