I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
