Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
