I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I want to stick my p in your. b.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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