I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
