it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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